As I may have mentioned before, I’ve worked as a musician for some of my life. When I was at university I was the drummer in one band, and then played bass in another. In my mid-30s I left teaching to play bass full-time in a punk rock band. I love making music, though at around 40 I realized I’d rather spend time with my family than out on tour.
When my son turned 10, he decided that he’d like to learn how to play the bass guitar, just like dad. With lessons, he’s doing pretty well, though I think it may be a while before he forms his own band. I’m just glad he didn’t choose trumpet, because I don’t think I could have survived that.
When he started playing bass, I got an urge that I’ve never felt before: I wanted to learn how to play the guitar. Whereas many bass players are guitar players who have switched, I started as a bass player and had never picked up a guitar in all of my years of playing in bands. Now that my son was trying something new, I was inspired to try something new of my own.
My family has been remarkably nice to the discordant noise this has brought to their lives. I’ve been playing for two months now and have gotten better at playing chords and at sight reading music. Not great, mind you, but not terrible, either. It’s fun to see myself getting better, and it’s undoubtedly the case that my past bass experience has been helping.
For me, one of the best features of learning guitar is that my son gets to see me suck at it. We adults all know that learning something takes time and are OK with it. However, kids don’t always realize this, and believe that they should master something within weeks of starting it. I’m glad that my son can see that his dad, who he still believes is capable of anything at all, struggles with learning new things.
A lot of adults, both in teaching and outside of teaching, are afraid to show kids that they’re not good at something. Just as we expect our kids to learn from their mistakes in the classroom, it’s important that we also model this behavior on our own. This doesn’t have to be music, of course. Maybe we’d like to do a project for the first time with our students and don’t know if it will work. In this case, it would be good for the students to know that we’re trying something new and to see us work out the kinks on the fly. At the end, we can ask our kids what went right, what went wrong, and how we can change things in the future. Not only will this make the activity better, but it will show kids that learning new things isn’t always a smooth process, and that this is absolutely OK.
I hope my guitar playing improves soon. Until then, I’m happy to keep showing my flaws in front of my son and his friends. After all, nobody’s perfect.